Be Positive? Some thoughts on that.

Be positive, the advice that is given a lot by many people but is a generalization by itself that gets the person hearing it to feel bad because of its misuse.

So, if we were to think about being positive what does that mean?

It could mean any of the below or even more

·        Seeing the good in what happened

·        Being grateful

·        Reframing what happened into something that would not feel as bad

·        Seeing a longer-term aspect of things

·        Seeing a shorter-term aspect of things

·        Everything happens for a reason

·        Compared to others you are in a better position

Now, I am not advocating that any of the above is true or false, but there are some things to consider.

First, the person’s time orientation for thinking?

Are they future-oriented thinkers or past-oriented thinkers?

Future-oriented thinkers focus on what happens next, and past-oriented thinkers think about what happened before.

Let’s add a second element, positive thinker vs negative thinker.

So now we might have any of the following 4 combinations:

1.      Future-Oriented Positive Thinker

2.      Future-Oriented Negative Thinker

3.      Past Oriented Positive Thinker

4.      Past Oriented Negative Thinker

Now let us take an event, for example losing a job, and place any of the 4 characters above in it, and how would each of them react differently in this same situation?

Another element is now added, where on the timeline is this person?

1.      Before the event

2.      During the event

3.      After the event

All the above is based on the assumption that people’s personality is always digital (Either – or) which it is obviously not. Personality traits are usually on a spectrum and shift based on context and a ton of other factors.

Going back to the original point, “Be Positive”, to who is it being said, and when? What would be achieved by that alone?

So telling a person who is past-oriented and negative after the event “Be Positive” wouldn’t generate any helpful results to that specific individual no matter how well-meaning you might be.

I would love to know your thoughts about this and in your opinion what combinations might work with the “Be Positive” approach and why. Have a good day!